The ability to be a successful troll.

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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the power to eat a ridiculous amount of bagels

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The power to "dislike" things on Facebook.

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The power to speak brail.

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The power to do get 100% in a christian studies exam, but fail everything else.

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The ability to turn into a hipster at will.

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The power to erase yourself from all existence and in the process rewrite history so that you never existed. Seriously, there is NO beneficial use for this AT ALL.

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The power to walk as fast as a tortoise, but only when its raining..

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The power to focus with extreme power, only on your own focus though... Moral: Inception.

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The power to at anytime cover yourself in flames and fly very fast by yelling FLAME ON! only to die a horrible death as you are not immune to your flames...

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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The power to have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick you infinity times

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The power to have a small penis

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The power to repeat everything you say twice. The power to repeat everything you say twice.

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The power to uncontrollably laugh and point at every black guy you see

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The power to have one eyebrow!?

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The power to be fat only when your at a party.

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I am the daddy devil of all evil hhaha like A boss

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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The power of superstrength, but heavy objects are your weakness.

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!