The power to be able to freeze anything, with the help of your trustworthy sidekick the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The power to wear crocs.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

thumb_up thumb_down -57

The power to not think of a productive power.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

thumb_up thumb_down -99

The power to turn into a rolly polly, but only twice a year and for 5 minutes each time

thumb_up thumb_down -115

The ability to predict what will appear on ReCaptcha, SOLVEmedia, and all that stuff, before you see it.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power to sleep with any hot chick........but only when she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to beat any video game after you've beaten it

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to shower naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The power to reproduce asexually.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The power to break through walls but forget to shout "OH YEAH!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

To be be able to be and throw fire without being fireproof.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

The power to read minds. ...of those who went through brain death.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

The ability to make water luke warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

The power to have 20/21 vision

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The power to uncontrollably poop, pee, barf, & sneeze at the same time, indefinitely (can't pause power once started).

thumb_up thumb_down -27

the power to allow dumbass powers to be written on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -41

The power to become severely depressed and suicidal whenever you feel the slight sensation of happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

The power to be awkwardly placed in serious pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Being immortal but not being able to eat food and you always feel horrible, but your body heals you every day so you get more pain every day.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

The power to make any object the most comfortable object ever, but only when no one is touching it!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!