The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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the power to walk in lava and fire unless you are hot

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the power to be able to shoot death lazers but only at people you want alive

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The power to run past the speed of sound... Backwards

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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The power to think with a 6 year time gap

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The power to turn into a parking lot.

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The power to- Hey, I'm really happy fo' you, but the Power Rangers are the greatest heroes of all time!

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The power to only be able to mind control goldfish one at a time

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The power to eat anything edible 0.25x quicker!!!!

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The powr too not bee abal too tipe

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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the power to die on a cross and come back to life 3 days later

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high.& the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking.

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The power to add a minus to your bank account balance.

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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the power to be a fury............-_-

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The power of eating but only when you're dead

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The power to summon a bucket of lukewarm water every 12 days.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!