the power to never laugh at funny things but laugh nonstop at all other times

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The power to shoot string cheese out of your fingers.

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the ability to touch type but only when you have no hands

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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the power make tomatoes turn green.

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the power to give anyone an incurable disease

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The power to bleed an unlimited amount of blood, but on in front of deadly animals.

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The power to fly, but only on the moon

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The power to make any object the most comfortable object ever, but only when no one is touching it!

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The power to chew harder than your teeth can structurally withstand.

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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the power to make youtube videos buffer twice as fast on your iPhone.

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The ability to change clothes instantly every 67 years

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The power to barely touch anything in space and time, but only with the pointer finger on your not dominant hand.

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The power to- Hey, I'm really happy fo' you, but the Power Rangers are the greatest heroes of all time!

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The power to be a man that makes very good sammiches.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to fight inanimate objects that pose no threat to you

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The power to change your mind

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The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

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The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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the power to fall asleep while being awake

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The power to taste anything you look at, except for food. Nothing edible counts...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!