The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The ability to constantly touch yourself.

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The power to turn food into human waste.

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The power to summon unspendable money

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The power to run the fastest when everyone in the world is standing still

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the power to wake up each mourning with a fast food joint mascot next to you saying "You were great last night"

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THE POWER OF WATCHING YOUTUBE VIDEOS but just with a telephone in hand that can reproduce videos

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the power to destroy galaxies but only when drunk or high

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The Power of cheese

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The power to catch em all

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The power to focus with extreme power, only on your own focus though... Moral: Inception.

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turn green traffic light in red but only on your road

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The power to push any muffin button, but u get no muffins

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The power to infinitely generate cardboard

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The power to teleport. But you can only teleport to the top of Mt. Everest and you cant teleport back.

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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the power for men to squirt milk from their nipples

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air, but only while you're in a building

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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the power to read and agree to the terms or service

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The power to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide

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the power to die on command

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!