The power to be asleep while in bed

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The abillity to laugh hystericaly at theese superpowers, But only when On the toilet pooping.

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the power to distinguish gays from not gays..

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The Power To Make Justin Bieber.

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The power to be invisible but only in the dark.

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The power to poop almost instantly, but you always have the runs.

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the power to shape shift to yourself

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The power to punch with the force of hulk ... But Die instintly

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The power to be Rosie O'Donnell.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The power to heal but every time you heal your leg or arm falls off.

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the power to hover an inch above the ground once every month.

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The power drown in water

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power of slowing down your reflexes respond whenever you want.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to make your nose blink.

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The power to give people std's during intercourse

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The power to think your dreams are real.

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The power to have a pointless power.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!