- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to break bones at will.

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

The power to touch your toes

Vanilla scented blood

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power to eat three times a day.

The power to obey gravity

The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

the power to sneeze whenever you want

The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

the power to stop masturbating every day

The power to ignore useful information

The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

The power to shrink your private parts.

The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

All of Superman's powers except instead of Kryptonite your weakness is water

Pointless Super Powers