the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

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To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to scratch your head 1% faster than usual, if it doesn't itch.

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The power to regenerate limbs, but twenty years after you've lost it.

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The power to beat bad ass kids without getting arrested!!!

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The power to remove seeds from seedless grapes but only on the 4th of may on a sunday

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The power to have a 100% failrate in sports betting

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...

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The power to time travel to the end of the world.

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to make your shit sink or float on command.

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The power to not see the troll dude in the Pointless Superpowers logo raping the words 'Pointless Superpowers'

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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The ability to stare without blinking for an infinite amount of time, but only whilst watching two girls one cup.

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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the power to jizz money

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The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

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The power to fall in love reptiles

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The power to find this website and submit a pointless superpower.

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the power to summon rick astley whenever you want to, but only when you're the only one in the room, so only you can hear him

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!