The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to gain 10 pounds whenever you eat something

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The power to microwave bread

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The Power to rot you favorite food by looking at it

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The power to fly at the speed of light, but then your pants keep coming off!

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The power to believe I type actual morals. Moral: At horsehead network? Now please go look for prostitutes at a church or astronauts under the sea you fucklng ass and blahblah!

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The power to go forward through time to a second from now. I wonder if I still be in this world then when I use that power though.

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The power to inhale coins without dying.

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the power to fly, but be naturally attracted to airplanes.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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The ability to think the thought you thought of is the same thought as another persons thought while thinking of that thought.

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The power to be oppressed by everything

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The ability to forget how to breathe automatically.

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The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

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The power to die on command.

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The ability to be in fashion.

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The Power to Fail in Failing

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The power to fly when in something flying

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the power to fly but only if your feet are touching the ground

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the power to ejaculate lava.

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The power to jump 1 inch higher than the typical person.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!