the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to sweeten sugar

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The power to vote for the Presidential candidate of your choice, only to be overruled by the Florida Supreme Court.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

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The ability to swim in water.

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The power to create another human

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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the power to itch your teeth

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Being only half invisible.

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The power to waste money

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the power to guess anybodies breakfast

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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The power to take a crap.

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The power to toss you`re limbs at your enemies, but not to re-attach them.

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The power to draw a perfect circle.

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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The power to make a white paper green but only with a colored pencil

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The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

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The ability to become invisible when noone is looking at you.

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The power to misspell when tyring to spell qukcily

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!