The power to eat 100kgs of ice cream and only get type 2 diabetes

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The ability to talk to parrots and have them talk back to you

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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Nope. Just nope.

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

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The power to blow up, before a bomb next to you blows up.

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The power to never finish your sentences because

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The power to read the terms of service.

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

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a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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The ability to talk to anybody in the world, as long as they are within your eyesight.

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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The power of laser pointer vision.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

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The power to produce boogers that look and taste like caramel until you put them in your mouth...

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!