the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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THE POWER TO NOT HAVE SUPERPOWERS! ...............ever

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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Being able to transform into anything on and off the planet, only, you have to be touching that object.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power to lick your own elbow

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on it .....

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to poop a penny every year

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The power to transform gold into nothing.

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the power to itch your teeth

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The ability to part hair.

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the power to guess anybodies breakfast

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The power to like the fact that someone liked my status.

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the power to turn into a rock and you cant turn back into a human

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The power to toss you`re limbs at your enemies, but not to re-attach them.

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The power to take a crap.

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!