The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The ability to metamorphose into any kind of cheese

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power is to think MEMEZ are so nonsence, Even if you ever kissed an girl.

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!