the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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to zap people but only yourself

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to be better than Chuck Norris, but you have to be in a lucid sleep.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to suck your own dick

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Justin Bieber

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The power to attract any women you like by ripping of your junk.

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The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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The ability to find a use for High School Algebra.

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Feeling people's depression.

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boo

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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the power to be powerless

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!