The power that turns farts into music.

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the power to eat people :D

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The power to cheat on your wife with your wife only if shes on her period

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Super speed, but with super clumsiness

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The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

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The power to produce a hand vacuum from your belly button that only sucks up lint for your belly button

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The power to open doors with your bare hands

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The power to make money appear, but only when you don't want or need anything

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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the ability to glow in the light.

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The ability to innoculate against all non-existent diseases

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The power to do back flips whenever you want to but only in your mind.

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The ability to stub your toe on every object near you when walking.

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

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The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

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The power of knowing every fact about dolphins

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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To power to predict past events with deadly accuracy.

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!