The ability to eat the red ones last

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The power to reseal bottles!

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power to die whenever you eat any type of food

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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The power to put up with your in-laws.

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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You're super strong, but only when punching SUV's.

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The Power to make PotNoodle...

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The power to go to sleep for 7 hours a day

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to grow plants, only using your mind

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The power of speaking every laguage on earth, but to know only one word in your entire life.

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The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

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The power to be a dick.

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The poewr to selpl eryvetihng wonrg.

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power to blow up your own head only once,

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swear words -jesse

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!