the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to shit yourself on a really hot day with no change of underwear

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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The ability to have ALL the powers... But you have to have them activated by people you fight. Only the people you fight....

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The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to travel time at 60 seconds a minute

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to go back in time, but only 1 second back and with a 10 second recharge.

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The ability to not live forever

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The power of women's rights.

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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the power to kiss your own ass

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!