The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to change different colours depending on you feel.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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The power to be fireproof under water

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The power to die just by trying to use the word l...

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The power to eat your poop

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The power to fart to inside. By mouth.

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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the ability to turn into the body of a car. Just the body, no engine, no wheels, nothin, just the body

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The power to uncontrollably laugh and point at every black guy you see

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power of being pointless

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The power of getting 5 cent shoes every year. Follow @lucb65 (Instagram)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!