the power to find a needle in a haystack

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the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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The power to eat food.

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Breath powers so strong your normal breath alone can break down walls whenever you get a cold.

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The power to Google "Google".

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the power to be able to foresee your death within a millisecond of it happening

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times, and just in case of trouble, you can change back by doing the same this time. (good luck jumping inside a sealed casket smartass.

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The ability to ruin ipods by simply listening to a song

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to summon cops to arrest you

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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Dejavu

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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The power to do reverse moonwalk

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The power to be fireproof under water

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The power to eat your poop

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!