The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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The power to experience hair loss at accelerated rate.

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The power to taste food 3 seconds before they eat it.

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to make you`re erections so big you faint.

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The power to grow or shrink your height by 6 inches at will, but everytime you do, you grow an extra toe.

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the power to be invisible when sleep.

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The power to float in water, and then sink sometimes.

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The power to eat food.

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Breath powers so strong your normal breath alone can break down walls whenever you get a cold.

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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the power to be able to get pointless superpowers

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The Superpower to DEMAND thumbs ups! Moral: Is it really pointless? Consider this a social experiment of mine, I mean the "pewer" one made my day, thank you everybody, I am used to thumb my comments up myself so they stay a bit longer (being modest as always), thanks.

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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the power to have powers (super strength,speed ,and flight) in a minute only.

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times, and just in case of trouble, you can change back by doing the same this time. (good luck jumping inside a sealed casket smartass.

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Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

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The ability to be in fashion.

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The power to summon cops to arrest you

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The power to communicate with applesauce.

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The power that will grant you no power.

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Dejavu

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!