The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to sit on a couch whenever your mother tells you that you can.

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the power to talk backwards

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The power to summon cops to arrest you

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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the power to turn on a random guys tv

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The power to do nothing with your life.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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The power of laughing in awkward situations.

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Be virtually indestructible, but only to things your not paying attention too.

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The power to science.

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The power to have a atomic fart

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The power to see 1 plank length farther then most normal people

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the power to know when the pope is taking a dump

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Will i tell you the joke about the butter? Aww no you'll only spread it!

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the power not eat more than one pringel.

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The power to grow a beard really fast but only relative to the hair on your head

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The power to look at the sum, but only when it's night

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!