the power to control urine

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The power to understand the farmer in Hot Fuzz.

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The power to see through windows

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The power to make dad jokes.

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The power to speed up time for only 1 Planck Instant every hour.

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The power to touch the lava when falling off the couch

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The power to be a Fox News anchor with something actually coherent to say.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to always know what the time is, but not without a clock

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to love Justin Bieber

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The power to decrease the number of thumbs up by how long the joke was written.

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The power to make food from anything, but noone can eat it.

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The power to explode on demand.

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The power to turn allergic to anything, but you have to eat it after.

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The Power To Make Someone Cry A Single Tear, Once A Day,

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The ability to never see CGI in any movie ever again

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to walk on two legs

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The ability to explode. With no healing factor.

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The ability to see everything in black and white.

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32% Levitation.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!