The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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the immunity of death unless youre about to die

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The power to make poorly drawn art in less time than it takes to blink.

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The power to not have a power.

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The power to never stop shitting.

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The power to read the mind of anyone who is having the exact same thought as you.

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The power to smell everyone's crap from anywhere you go

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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the power to read whenever somebody is about to make a pun but only if youve already heard that pun

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The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

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The power to communicate through complex technology that was only developed 50 years ago and is still un known if it is harmful

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The power to control all bleach within one-hundred feet.

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The power to fall asleep at will. But it's only active when you're asleep.

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the power to go back in time, but only back 1 second.

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The power to easily dodge any bullets from any weapons ever... as long as the bullets are made of cheese.

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The power to turn coleslaw into cabbage.

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The power to find hiding spots quicker... like anne frank and osama bin ladin

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the power to be the best looking person but only to rapists.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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The power to detect which kitchen drawers contain the silverwear at other peoples houses

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The power to grow new teeth.

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the power to fly but only if you keep both feet firmly on the ground

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The power to f*ck yourself

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!