The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to only be drunk while driving.

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The power to be yourself.

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the power to become retarded

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power that whatever song is playing is your favorite song

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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you have the power to se anything and everything in the entire universe, but only if you are blind.

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The power of micro penis.

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The power to make yourself numb and fall to the ground

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The power to tell the future but no one believes you

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The power to die at will

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to change your eyebrows daily

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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The power to choose the next president of the united states of america.

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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The power to spontaneously break into song only during absolutely tragic moments.

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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the power to keep your fingertips wet at all times, so you can flip pages.

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the power to type without looking at the keyboard

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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The ability to remember what you don't want to remember

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!