the ability to summon a jar of marmalade the forces people to commit adultery

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The power to die when you do Anything!!!

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The power to type 1,000 words per minute, but only on a 12 key tracphone ®

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The power to make terrible puns and drink ketchup non-stop, otherwise known as being Sans.

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The power of destroying anything that's inert with one punch, but dying afterwards.

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the power to read something without looking at it

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The power to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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The power to go forward in time so you get defeated faster

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The power to fly but only when you are in a winged aircraft.

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The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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The power to sing better then anyone in the world, but only in the presence of the deaf.

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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the power to be .13 cents short on every purchase you try to make.

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability yo smell your own breath, but only when you have a stuffy nose.

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The ability to know everything about knowing nothing.

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to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

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The power to turn int water when your in water.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!