The power to always smell like cheep wine.

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The power to shoot flames from your hands, only its not really warm.

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The power to shed hair

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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The power to read bladders. You would always know when someone has to pee.

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The power of minding your own business

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THE POWER TO PREDICT THE PAST

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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The power to look through really thin glas without any view obstruction.

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The power to become inverted background color.

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability to fly but only if you're on the ground

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The ability to say YOLO without getting shot.

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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the ability to turn a banana into an apple at will, but only for a few seconds.

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The power to tell a joke with no moral. Moral: There is no moral.

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The power to repel water when you're thirsty.

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The power to be reincarnated as yourself 5 minutes before you die again

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The power to orgasm every five.. UGGHOOOAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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Zebra Man has the power to change color from black to white and back again, at will

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!