The power to never be burned, but only when underwater.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to shoot pencils out of your mouth every 10 seconds

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The power to conjure chairs at will.

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to travel in time....2 minutes in the past exactly after..masturbation.... masturbation-time-loop...........

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The power to learn only at school.

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

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The superpower of being the only one without powers in the world where everyone has powers.

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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The power to stop making up pointless super powers and submiting them on a website called pointless superpowers

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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the power to read and agree with the terms of service

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The power of having night vision that only works during the day

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The power to control time, space and rule the universe... But only when you are dreaming.

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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The power to fly upwards but not downwards

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the ability to not get pregnant when you get raped

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the power to kill every thing you see but you have to be high and drunk and naked at the same time

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the power to make the vagina taste like pizza (p u s s y flavored)

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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The power to touch someone's face while watching rain burn.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!