The power to shoot flames from your hands, only its not really warm.

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The power to become annoyed by annoying people

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The power to fly but only if you standing on the ground

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to die when u drink bleach

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to get foot-boners

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to be Helen Keller at will.

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The power to become an extremely attractive straight man in only the presence of 83 year old homosexual men

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The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The ability to not come back to life when you die.

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The power to orgasm every five.. UGGHOOOAAHAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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the ability to have 2/3 nipples.

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The power to....um.... shit I forgot That's Wat u get for wanting the power of amnesia

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The power to endure uncontrollable & highly noticeable erections at funerals

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The power to slam revolving doors.

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The Power to Combust

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The power to be 10% more comfortable when sitting on a really uncomfortable couch.

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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the power to breath fire but only on days that don't end in Y.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!