The power to take offence to anything said or done like it matters...

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the power to bi ugly

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The power to make toast but only when it has bread in it and it's turned on.

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The ability to fly but only for 5 seconds and when you are on an oily floor in tube socks being chased by 10 Puerto Rican woman.

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The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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The power to turn all of the air into a solid.

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The power to still have 0.01 percent of germs on your hands.

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The power to turn into paper

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The power to pee out your butt and poop out of your weenie

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The ability to make the wait at the DMV 1,000% longer.

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The power to hate someone you don't even know

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to switch your right and left ears.

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The power to speak in braille...

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The power to shoot spiderwebs but only out of your fully erect dick

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The power to tie any type of knot but only when using dental floss

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the power to die on command

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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The power to win the lottery, but only the december 21 of 2012.

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The power to fly without leaving the ground.

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The power to teleport to the place of where you are

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the power to have a power.

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The power of not knowing the future

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The power to jump 1 cm more than the average human when you're scared.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!