Now you can stop the time for half a second, while walking against a strong wind.

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The power to drink lethal poison without getting ill. But still dying from it.

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The power to kick ass when your names aoife.

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The power to create cavities in your teeth.

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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The power of unlimited strength...but you have regular bone density

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The power to save 16% or more on your auto insurance

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The power to turn gold into stones.

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The power to shoot flames from your hands, only its not really warm.

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The power to not have a power.

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The power to be able to not smell fart

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The power to look ugly when people look at you but look hot when no one looking at you

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The power to write in invisible ink

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The power to spit fire only by drinking gas into a flame - Isaac goodall

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The ability to fly as long as you're touching the floor.

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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The power to...lick you're nose

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The power to speak braille

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The power to uncontrollably go blind

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the ability to troll the internet but never get a response

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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The power to shut the fuck up.

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The power to teleport to the center to the center of the Earth.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!