The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

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Hello.. I'm Captain Curteous & I'd jst like tol say F@@K THE LOT OF YOU. Oh no my powers are failing!!!!!

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the power to fall asleep in your bed and wake up in a trash compacter

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the ability to know what the F#CK gotsie is. WHAT THE FU-

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The power to cum extremely hard inside you`re mother.

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the power to wake up each mourning with a fast food joint mascot next to you saying "You were great last night"

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The power to remember long sequences of numbers. But only the even ones.

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The power of bullet attraction.

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The power to chew harder than your teeth can structurally withstand.

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The power to eat anything edible 0.25x quicker!!!!

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The ability to peel potatoes with your mind.

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the power to have no powers.

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the power to see through windows

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The ability to make the skin above your eyebrows really, really dry and flaky---whenever you want!

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The power to change the channel with your mind, but only to the Weather Network.

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The ability to change a light bulb with the help of a friend on the first or fourth Tuesday of every 4 four months when he has enough free time to help.

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the power to follow "photocation" on instagram.. its worthless but who gives a *#$%^ !!!

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The power to dissasemble yourself, but not re-assemble yourself.

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The power to transform into air.

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the ability to fly 6 inches off the groung

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The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.

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The power to have 20/21 vision

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the power to see poorly during night time and considerably better during the day with the help of +5 glasses

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The power to poop anytime you want to.(technically its an okay power cause when you need to poop you could poop in another time). so my friend thought of one and he said: The power to die anytime but you still get old and you get to be like a 200 hundred year old man/woman and have the capability of their age so basically just die when your 90.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!