The true motor of bliss runs on sex and ice cream with no flavor but calling august to see if life will eat us all or not. And she is. And he is. But the dance is corrupted with none-music and machin touch down there.....

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the power to give extreme diarrhea to only your grandmother and your house pet

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the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

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the power to speak in sign language.

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invinsibility to everything except for thing that hurt or kill you....

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Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

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The ability to be invicible, only when you commit a suicide.

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The power to turn into a slightly uncomfortable pair of pants.

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The power to peak braille

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The power to laugh in the face of danger except for that time you walked face first into a glass door.

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The power to read Chuck-E-Cheese's mind.

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power to eat chicken raw!

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the power to predict the past

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The ability to Transform into an active grenade

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The power to read as fast as light when you can't read

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The power to be quite good at checkers.

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The power to sing like Rebecca Black.

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the power to shit shards of glass

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DE POWER TO SPELL WRIGHT LOL LAOM FOTOSINSISES

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The power to control other people's actions... only when you're alone!

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The ability to get a joke exactly ten minutes after every one else gets it

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The power to change the color of foliage. In the name of justice.

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The ability to make your fingernails grow an inch whenever you like, but only on a Tuesday

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The ability to perform crippling blowjobs on your enemies, but as soon as you finish you are teleported (in the same position) randomly to a crowded part of Russia.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!