the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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The ability to charge my iPhone, by starring at it real hard while rubbing my nipples!!!

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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The power to make pot legal except when there's cops around.

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THA PWR 2 MiiSSPELL ERRTHANG WHiiLE WRiiTiiNG iiN AWL CAPz ONE THA iiNTERNET

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The power to build a building that is comparable to the sistine chapel, but without doors.

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Chinchilla whispering abilities

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The power to cure cancer, but cause death by radiation poisoning.

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The Power to Heat Food with your Mind, only when it's in a microwave.

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The power to differentiate between captal 'i's and lower case 'l's.

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The power to watch grass grow

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The power to tell if a politician is lying. (They always are.)

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The power to tell whether or not butter is salted or not.

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The power to hypnotize aliens.

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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The power to realize that the "newest" section of both pointless superpowers and anti-jokes is the same.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The power to teleport someone into the nearest restroom after they've touched your thighs.

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Ultra-strength when peeing

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The ability to gain weight at will, but not lose it at will

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!