the power to get fat in America

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The power of having two left hands.

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The power to Shape shift into Bread. No consciousness of any kind, just bread, unable to change back.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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the power to hovertate

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to see through walls, but not through air.

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The power to play their superhero name on guitar.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to obey gravity

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!