the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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the power to be friends with Donald trump

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The power to spit venom, but it misses 99.9% of the time.

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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the power to uncontrolably shoot bananas out of your hands

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The power to drink and drive without being caught

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The ability to make yourself rich unless you are using it on yourself...

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The power to die

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The power to type in the wrong capatcha.

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to make an apple you're holding taste delicious, but only for other people

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The ability to instantly turn 360 degrees.

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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The power of bad luck

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The power to laugh at other people when they get hurt, and still be able to have high esteem in front of all your friends.

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.

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the power to get extra homework

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The power to eat socks

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the power to sing amazingly but only when someone is 158,00000000000 times louder

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!