to eat a pie and get to fart an apple (cus why not)

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to chew with your tongue

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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To never remember what the word if means

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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The ability to eat whole chickens at will, but only when yr not hungry.

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The power to never come into existence

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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the power to stare at someone without blinking or smiling for ever

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The power to have no powers

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The power to smell you poop after you flushed

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to live forever but only in a coma.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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the power to not have powers when you need them most

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The power to not get a boner when seeing a hot girl.

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The power to turn into a laptop forever

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The power to be normal.

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The power to poop without wiping

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The power to not go to wor unless it's a work day and to not fell pain unless you get hurt.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!