- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The ability to talk to bacteria

The power to have rotten teeth until you go to the dentist's.

The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

The power to divide by 0

The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

The power to have a 100% failrate in sports betting

The power to know if someone in China eats Rice

The power to fly during a point in time when all humans are able to fly.

The power to be invisible, when no cameras or people are looking.

the power to jump like a black guy.

The power to extend your pinky toe

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to even

the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

the power to take ipecac without throwing up

The power to make dead batteries appear.

The power to fight Chuck Norris... and lose.

The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

The power of hindsight

The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

the power to get drunk you are needed

The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

Pointless Super Powers