the ability to blow yourself

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the power to emit air through your mouth and nose.....

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The power to make dead batteries appear.

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The power to think oppositely

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The power to be on mars. Not survive, not go between mars and earth. You could just instantaneously be on mars, then probably die.

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the power to read this sentence

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The power to make someone forget you as soon as they laid eyes on you making you lonely forever:)

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ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

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The power to extend your pinky toe

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the power to jump, but only on any surface

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The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

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The power of women's rights.

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!