The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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the power to die

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The power to see everything 3D without 3D glasses

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The power to change your hair's color to white when you're old.

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to not blink for 5 seconds

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The power to never have fun...never.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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the power to sit down BUT you have to sit down for ever

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power of reading a book unless it has 3 or more pages.

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The power to convert Oxygen into chemical energy and waste gases.

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power that turns farts into music.

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open up pickles glass

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!