The power to jerk off with no hands.

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The power to f-ck every girl in the world, read it carefully EVERY girl in the world...

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The power to have gravity.

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The power to even

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the ability to levitate

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The power to be alone

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to... We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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The ability to make cringe worthy YouTube videos

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the power to poop every 5 minutes

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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open up pickles glass

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The power to walk upside down but only when you're in Australia.

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the power to turn into a piece of paper

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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The power to never be cold, but only when it is above 80 degrees.

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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the ability to make your eyes pop out.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!