power to age faster

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to speak using their mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to give the wrong directions

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to jizz mango chutney

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to be gay on command.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Having taste buds in your anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to fold paper seven times

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to Rage Against The Machine

thumb_up thumb_down +77

being black

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to flap your arms uncontrollably every time a hot girl walks past you.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to burn the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to die

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power of HONOR AND LOVE! Moral: it wont make you honorable, or lovable by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to uncontrollably say "thats what she said" whenever it is possible, even if its really shitty

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +71

the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

the power to shape shift to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!