the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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The super power to shine in daylight

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the power to breathe in space but have to be were there is gravity

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The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to control time by pressing your right elbow under your right armpit

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to become encased in concrete at will.

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The power to become a laptop forever!

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to make coma patients bark.

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to make lipstick fly

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!