The power to sit on a couch whenever your mother tells you that you can.

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The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The power to breathe fire but onle when under water

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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The power to get hard at will.

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The ability to turn wine into water...

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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The power to think of food

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The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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The power to move in slow motion whenever running away from danger. Moral: Hilarious! XD

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The power to know the answer to a test u already took.

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The power to make all girls look pretty but only in your head and only if you drunk enough.

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to talk in any language but you can't talk in the language of the country that you're in.

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The power to survive in space as long as you have a working space suit on.

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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The power to clap 14 times a second

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The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The power to make water come out of your fingertips in a slow trickle, the way it looks in the shower.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!