The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The ability to have any destructive power... As long as you use it on babies or old people.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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the power to fly while under water

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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To grow your fingernails out and in very quickly.

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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the power to shit with your mouth

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The ability to be completely bullet-proof as long as a bullet never hits you.

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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The power of walk on the water if it is frozen.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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The power to wave your hands without ever tiring

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The power to be writing a pointless superpower on a website about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!