The power to let someone control your dick

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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The power to fly but you can't go ten feet above ground.

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The power to have withdrawal symptoms.

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

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You dont HAVE to give my former comment a thumbs ups, I mean why should I care about your opinion and needs etc? Moral: But admit to yourself that it was awesome, or else you are just lying to yourself, doing ya a favor kiddo.

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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The power to die whenever you eat any type of food

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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the power to fart the alphebet

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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Crap out everything you're allergic too

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The power to to think there are images in the clouds.

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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The power to walk on lava but you are not resistant to it

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to see your neck without a mirror

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The ability to change races.

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The power to sleep on road trips but only if you're not in a car.

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The ability to use the "wait" function from skyrim/fallout in real life.

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The power to become CHUCK NORRIS! (if you are a teen) Which by activation you realize he is just a mediocre actor... and worst... over 70 years of age...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!