The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The power to stop time, but be stopped with time also.

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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Incredible Slothman. The power to move slowly.

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The power to have super human strength but only when sleep walking.

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Ability to emit soap from your ears in the sun

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The power to fly but you can't go ten feet above ground.

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The power to run light speed only when the world is speed up to light speed

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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The power to have withdrawal symptoms.

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The ability to fly up 3feet travel to travel a meter forwards

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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32% Levitation.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to pee poop

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The power to turn into an escalator

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The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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Liam Brudenell

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to have 50%-78% water in your body

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!