A parapalegic with super strength! Oh and with lockjaw, and addicted to Botox.

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The power to move microscopic specks of dust, but only one at a time, and only a few times a year.

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The power to grow your toenails, but only one at a time.

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The power to grow your nails longer

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the ability to smell sounds

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The power to emit contagious yawns.

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The ability to breathe underwater but only when above water

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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the power to sleep through a prison rape

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The power to be arrested for crimes you did not commit

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the power to shit with your mouth

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The power to instantly engrave your face into any urinal anywhere at will.

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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The power to believe I type actual morals. Moral: At horsehead network? Now please go look for prostitutes at a church or astronauts under the sea you fucklng ass and blahblah!

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The power to stand still for five hours

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the ability to manually control your breathing

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The SuperPower To Have No SuperPowers

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The power to go back in time and kill yourself in the past.

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The power to have Chuck Norris roundhouse kick you infinity times

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the power to have the remote come to you.

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The power to skip the Kripp.

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the power to not have superpowers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!