The power to bleed on command

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to drink dihydrogen monoxide without dying.

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The ability to become shit forever.

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Ability to emit soap from your ears in the sun

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The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to text while driving and dies of cancer.

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The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

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The power to waste time talking about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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Be as cool as Julien Roby who go outside without is coat during winter

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The power o know why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch

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The power to glow very bright and emit a loud alarm everytime you're scared.

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The power to solve every problem in the world. By dying.

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!