The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the ability to walk barefooted on top of legos without pain but only as long as you don't know they're legos

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The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

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The power to melt chocolate at room temperature.

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The power to drink water and pee immediately.

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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The power to emit contagious yawns.

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the power to eat gold and turn it into koosh balls

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the power to create your own real working money but you cannot spend it

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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the power to taste your own spit

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The ability of using their one true super power with stunning accuracy.

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

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Beeing 99% Bullet proof, with the 1% shifting places to whereever a bullet is about to hit you.

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The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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The ability to like this post

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The ability to transform into anything... gradually, over the course of a week.

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The power to push any muffin button, but u get no muffins

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Having perfect 20-20 vision, only when wearing glasses.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!