the power to teleport to the bottom of the ocean at will

The power to not be able to touch any living thing.

The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

The ability to kick in a three point shot but only during a game.

The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

the ability to lick your own anus

the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

The power to not have powers that arent pointless but then you realize your a normal human bein then you just think hey mabey I can be like Batman but then also you were like hey why am I not a multi-billionaire . After this all you find out you have the power to wake up at 12 pm only while using a alarm clock set for 7 am

The power to post hundreds of pointless superpowers in minutes. Moral: It is always fun to see another person`s comment between mine with zero thumbs, while mine always keep the excellent two thumb quality! Lesser man would say thank you... I say you are welcome everybody ;) (A moral man original, because someone needs the balls of steel required to see things how they really are)

The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

The power to just eat one lays potato chip

The power to paint with all the colors of the wind!

The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

The power to touch MC Hammer.

The power to do anything you don't want to do.

The power to have a poo at your girlfriend's house and be only 22.2% sure that it will flush

The power to look at yourself in third person

The power to teleport 10 years into the past just by sneezing. You also become hyper allergic to everything. And of course, you have no way to travel forward...

The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!